Stupid People Doing Random Things
by Evelyn Valerious
Summary: The characters from The Mummy, Van Helsing and Ghost Ship all come together in an unknown place.
1. Pixie Stix and Staring Contests

Stupid People Doing Random Things

Summary: The characters from The Mummy, Van Helsing and Ghost Ship all come together in an unknown place.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

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Chapter 1

Pixie Stix and Staring Contests

(Some abandoned building in some random place)

The lights come on, but no one is around to have turned them on. Suddenly there was a loud noise and a bright flash of light. Seven people appeared from out of nowhere. They are, Rick and Evy O'Connell, Gabriel Van Helsing, Anna Valerious, Carl, Epps and Katie. "Rick, where are we?" Evelyn asked, surveying the room.

"I have no idea."

"Who are they?" She asked, pointing to the five strangers that were a few feet away from them.

"I don't know. Stop asking me questions!"

"Fine be that way!" Evy was mad so she went about ten feet away and sat on a box with the words PIXIE STIX written in big letters on it.

Meanwhile, Epps and Katie had taken over their own part of the room. "Hey this isn't the Antonia Graza!"

"Katie, the Graza blew up. Get over it!"

"But that's where I live."

"You don't live anywhere. You've been dead for over forty years. You can just appear wherever you want." Katie was mad so she went and sat on a box of pixie stix. Epps moved the other way and sat on another box. In fact, everyone was using the boxes as chairs. Then Carl noticed something. "Hey people, does anyone know what Pixie Stix are? All these boxes say that in big letters."

"They're basically little plastic straws filled with flavored sugar. Pretty good if you ask me," Epps said.

Rick had heard the word sugar and looked up. "Sugar…where…I want sugar." He saw the box that Evelyn was sitting on so he pushed her off and started eating the Pixie Stix.. Evelyn was mad so she walked a few feet away and sat next to Anna. "Hi, I'm Evelyn O'Connell."

"I'm Anna Valerious." An awkward silence followed as the two women just stared into space.

"So…" Evy began. "who'd you come here with?"

Anna pointed to Carl and Van Helsing. "Those two. What about you?"

"That's my husband Rick," she said, pointing over to him. "He's had too much sugar."

"Yeah I can see that." The women continued talking and seemed to become fast friends.

"Do you know who those two are?" Evy asked looking at Epps and Katie. Kate was on a ladder doing something while Epps was standing there giving her directions.

"No. Let's go find out." They started to walk over there but Epps saw them coming.

"Hurry up Katie!"

"I'm going as fast as I can!" It was too late. Anna and Evy had just walked over to them.

"Hi, I'm Anna and this is Evelyn. We were just wondering what you two were doing." Thinking quick, Epps kicked the ladder and Katie fell. Though she shouldn't have been able to feel anything, the fall hurt.

"We weren't doing anything. You have no substantial proof!"

Katie was very angry. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"Sorry we didn't mean to intrude," Evelyn said.

"No, that's ok. I'm Maureen Epps but you can just call me Epps. This is Katie." Once again they all exchanged hellos, etc….

On the other side of the room, the men had begun to form their own little group. "Hi, I'm Rick," he said in between eating the Pixie Stix.

"Right…….I'm Gabriel Van Helsing and this is Carl. So, how many of those things have you eaten?"

"I don't know, how many are in these boxes?"

"You ate a whole box of them?!" Carl exclaimed.

"Yeah, they're really good."

"Can I try one?" Carl asked.

"No they're mine, all mine! You can't have any!" He began swinging the Pixie Stix like a sword. It didn't do anything because Pixie Stix are small and not sharp. Carl and Van Helsing thought he was insane so they backed away slowly.

"I should go stop him before he does something crazy," Evelyn said to Anna after witnessing what just happened.

"Good luck," she said as Evy walked towards Rick.

At that moment, Rick was running around the room, grabbing the boxes, and stacking them on top of each other. He had so many that he was beginning to make a wall. Evy walked over and started kicking the boxes. "Hey don't do that!" Rick screamed.

"Rick we need to talk."

"About what?"

"You have to stop eating these Pixie Stix. You're starting to scare everyone."

"NEVER!!! You can't take away my Pixie Stix!!!!! I need them!!!" Evelyn was really started to get annoyed so she slapped him.

"What did you do that for?"

"I don't know. You were annoying me. Just promise me you'll stop eating the Pixie Stix or I'll slap you again, ok?"

"Ok, I promise I won't eat anymore Pixie Stix." Evelyn was satisfied with her answer so she went and sat back down next to Anna. She happened to be staring at Katie and Epps who had recently finished whatever they were doing.

"Hey Anna, are those two still doing whatever they were doing before?"

"No, they just finished it. I wonder what they were doing."

"Yeah, me too."

"Finally I'm finished," Katie said to Epps, proud of her work.

"Good. Does it work?" Epps asked.

"Yeah I turned it on a few minutes ago."

"Good. Do you want to go over there and talk to Evelyn and Anna?"

"Ok there's nothing better to do." They began walking towards Evy and Anna who were now staring across the room at the men. Van Helsing and Carl were staring back. Epps and Katie sat down and began staring across the room too. "Why exactly are we doing this?" Epps asked, not seeing the point in whatever they were doing.

"We're having a staring contest. Whoever blinks loses," Anna explained, still staring across the room.

"How can you tell if they blinked from all the way across the room?"

"We just can." A few minutes passed and nothing happened. Everyone just kept staring at each other, trying hard not to blink. Rick was off in a corner watching the nothingness. He got so bored that he started eating more Pixie Stix, against Evelyn's orders. A few minutes later, Evelyn spoke up. "Hey Anna, Carl blinked."

"I know. I saw him. Carl! You blinked!" she screamed, still not blinking.

"No I didn't!" he yelled back.

"Yes you did!"

"Fine be that way!" he had lost so he walking ten feet away and sat on the floor. Then, Rick threw a box in the middle of the room and everyone blinked.

"Hahaha Hahaha you all blinked! I win!" Evy really felt like getting up and killing him but decided against it. Van Helsing was about to do it but Carl stopped him. Everyone secretly wanted to do it but no one actually would get up and try. Then, they all got in a group and started discussing what to do about him.

"Evelyn, I'm really starting not to like your husband," Anna said.

"Well at the moment I don't like him that much either."

"So what are we going to do about him?" Van Helsing asked.

"We have to take away the Pixie Stix because I know he's still eating them and it's also the reason why he's acting this way," Evy said.

"We all know that but how exactly do you plan on getting the Pixie Stix away from him?" Katie added, not thinking the plan would work.

"We'll just go over there, grab the boxes and destroy the Pixie Stix," Carl said.

Anna really felt like smacking him. "Are you insane? What kind of plan is that?"

"Do you like any of the plans I come up with?"

"No."

"This is getting us nowhere!" Evelyn screamed. She was right and no one could think of a better plan. They all knew something had to be done. Rick had gone completely insane and was driving everyone else crazy. At that very moment, he was running around the room screaming "I'm running around the room! I'm running around the room!" over and over and over until he finally ran into a wall and fell down. He was out cold so they thought this was a good time to try and get rid of the Pixie Stix.

"Where exactly are we going to put these?" Epps asked, noticing that this was just a large room with nowhere to hide 100 boxes of Pixie Stix.

"Let's put them in that mysterious hole in the ground," Kate said, pointing to a large hole in the floor. It only took a few minutes until all of the boxes were in the mysterious hole. Then the hole mysteriously went away and took the Pixie Stix with it. Then everyone went back to their little groups and acted as if nothing had happened.

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Fin de chappie.

A.N.- What will happen in the next chapter? What were Katie and Epps doing? Where did the Pixie Stix go? Please R&R and tell me what you thought.


	2. The KatieCam

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

A.N: Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed. It makes me so happy to know that I am not the only one who reads my fic. (Joc you do not count since I forced you to read it)

Chapter 2

The Katie Cam

It had been about an hour since the group had gotten rid of the pixie stix. Rick was still lying in the middle of the floor. After a while, he sat up with a dazed look on his face. He looked around and then got up to go sit by Evelyn. "So where did you hide my pixie stix?" he asked.

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"NO! I won't tell you so stop asking me!" Their argument went on for a few minutes and Evy was going to smack him but decided against it. Epps came up to her and handed her a roll of duct tape. "Thank you," she said, already tearing off a piece.

"You're welcome." Rick was still begging for his pixie stix back so Evelyn taped his mouth shut and his hands together. That way he would not be able to take the tape off. Everyone in the room applauded.

Once Evelyn made sure that Rick was properly bound, she went back over by Anna. "Why did you marry that guy?" Anna asked, wondering how a woman like Evelyn could end up with a man like Rick.

"He was never like this before. He used to be sane. It's those pixie stix that are causing all the problems. Now that we've taken them away the sugar high should wear off."

"Oh…… so what exactly is there to do in this place?"

"Absolutely nothing. Hey, where did Van Helsing and Carl go?"

"I don't know they just got up and walked away." They looked around until they finally saw Van Helsing and Carl staring at a wall, not even blinking.

"What are they doing?" Evelyn asked, beginning to worry about their sanity levels.

"Carl, Van Helsing, are you guys having a staring contest with the wall or are you actually waiting for it to do something?" Anna asked, worrying that they might be waiting for the _wall_ to actually do something.

"There's nothing better to do around here. The wall is the most interesting thing in this room," Van Helsing said.

"Well have fun with that."

While Evy and Anna were watching the men stare at a wall and Epps and Katie were off somewhere doing something, Rick heard a doorbell ring. "Ooh I wonder who that could be." He saw a door that appeared out of nowhere so he answered it

"Hi," the man said. "I have a delivery of pixie stix for Rick O'Connell."

"Hey that's me!" Rick said, looking at the nametag on his shirt to make sure.

"Then just sign on the line and you can get you pixie stix."

"Okay." Rick signed his name and the deliveryman brought in many boxes of pixie stix. Rick then began to stack them in an orderly fashion. "I'm going to eat these boxes today, those boxes tonight, the other boxes tomorrow, and we'll see what happens after that," he said to no one in particular.

After staring at the wall and finally realizing that it wasn't going to do anything, Van Helsing gave up and then looked over at Rick. "Hey! He's eating pixie stix again!"

"That's impossible!" Anna screamed. "We got rid of them!"

"Well somehow he got more."

"Yes _Gabriel_ I can see that."

"Then how come you said it was impossible?…… Hey don't call me Gabriel, I hate it."

"Well I wasn't looking at him when you said he had gotten more. And I will call you Gabriel if I feel like it because I know it makes you made." They continued to argue and Rick continued to eat pixie stix. Evelyn was ready to kill someone because they were all being to annoying.

"Would you two shut up!" They did and looker over at Evelyn. "The important thing now is that we get the pixie stix away from him. He said he wouldn't eat any more but he is anyway. Sometimes I really feel like hurting him."

"Evy if you kill him now no one would blame you," Carl said coming out of nowhere.

"I can't kill him. He is my husband."

"So….."

"I'm not going to kill my husband."

"Why not?"

"I'm not killing him and that's final!"

"Can I do it then?"

"NO!"

"Okay, we've established we aren't killing him," Van Helsing began. "But what's our plan?"

"How about we walk over there and take the pixie stix away from him," Anna suggested since it seemed to work last time. Everyone agreed and they sent Evelyn to distract Rick while they took the pixie stix.

"Rick……."

"Yes Evy."

"Where did you get these pixie stix from?"

"The delivery man brought them."

"What delivery man?"

"The one that was at the door."

"Door? What door? Are you saying that a man came to this 'door' and gave you sugar and you just let him leave? We could have gotten out of this place! I can't believe you would do something so stupid!"

"It's not my fault."

"Yes it is! Well since you ruined any chance of escape, why are you eating the pixie stix? You promised me you wouldn't."

"What! I would never promise a thing like that!"

"Yes you did!" Epps and Katie said, coming from wherever they were.

"Oh yeah, prove it!"

"Fine I will!" At that moment, Katie took a remote and pressed the play button. A video started to play on the large plasma screen on the wall. The video happened to be of Rick and Evy speaking earlier that day. It did, in fact, show Rick promising not to eat pixie stix. "See I told you!" Kate said proudly.

"How did you do that without us knowing about it?" Evelyn asked, confused and angry.

"There's a camera over there," Epps said pointing to a camera on the wall. Above it was a huge sign saying 'This is the Katie-Cam. You **ARE** being watched.'

"How did we miss that?"

"I don't know, maybe you're just stupid." Now that they knew Rick had made that promise, they decided to finish carrying out their plan. As they did so, Anna remembered something.

"Hey Evy, how did he get the duct tape off?"

"I don't know, or care really. It's not like it did any good anyway." They went back to taking the pixie stix while Van Helsing and Carl restrained Rick. His sanity meter happened to be no more and he kept complaining that zombies were after him.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Epps asked, noticing that all they had done was move the pixie stix to the other side of the room.

"Yeah if I know one thing, it's that Rick is really lazy. There's no way he'll actually get up and walk all the way over here." When they had finished, Van and Carl let Rick go, expecting him to run away. Instead, he just sat on the floor.

"Oh come on! That's not fair! I'm not going to walk all the way over there! You're mean Evy!"

"It's for your own good Rick. You'll thank me one day."

"No I won't. You're mean and I'll never thank you."

"That's nice, I don't really care." Rick was still complaining so she just ignored him and started talking to her friends. Epps had the camera taping Rick so they all watched him on the big screen. A few minutes later, someone threw a mysterious bag of extra-butter popcorn at the screen and yelled "This is boring. Turn it off." So Epps did and Desperate Housewives just happened to be on.

"Ooh I love this show," Epps said, pulling her chair closer.

"That's nice… what else is on?" someone asked.

"Nothing. We are watching Desperate Housewives so shut up before I hurt you!"

"Fine I will." Since no one else had seen that show before (and didn't really want to) they decided to find something else to do. The problem was, there wasn't anything else. They finally admitted defeat and sat down to watch the show.

"Hi everybody, back so soon?"

"Yeah there's nothing to do in this place so we decided this was better than nothing."

"Then sit down, you already missed the first ten minutes." As they all watched Desperate Housewives, Rick decided to join them. He didn't have to walk that far and he was getting lonely sitting on the floor. Evelyn just happened to see him get up.

"Rick, where are you going?"

"I'm coming to sit by you. I don't like sitting alone on the floor."

"Okay but you better just sit down and shut up."

"I will."

While watching the show, everyone kept asking Epps questions like "who's that?" or "what's going on?" Eventually she got so mad that she started screaming. "Everybody just shut up and stop asking me questions!"

"Epps…"

"Yes Carl?"

"Why do you like this show?"

"Because it's the only thing they would let me watch at the mental hospital."

"Why were you in a mental hospital?"

"Because she talks to me," Katie said.

"Ooh I get it now."

"Then shut up, I don't want to talk about it anymore." After they were done, they went back to watching television. Desperate Housewives had just gotten over so Epps turned the TV off. Everyone was still extremely bored so they just stared at the screen. Eventually conversation began though no one really felt like talking. But then, there was a knock on the door…….


End file.
